For Mum and Dad, under whose parental guidance I spoke my first words
** All errors below highly regretted
**********
It is instructive to note that Bali customs and way of life had witnessed wide range of transformations. These transformations, however, could not be said to be recent but traced back to several decades. Most of the traditional institutions Bali had erected in its developmental process had quickly fallen apart years after independence. There is noticeably little control of things and as such, a lot had mostly gone wrong. The socio-political and moral fabric of the Bali society was facing series of challenges as a result of a number of influences both within and outside Bali.
Apart from being a witness to teenage pregnancy which was one of the challenges facing Bali, I got to understand that Balis highly patriarchal inclinations were heavily skewed in favour of men. While there seems to be nothing wrong in societies being patriarchal, as many African pre- and post-colonial societies continue to uphold this norm, I found it excessive under the circumstances it treated the female folk. One example could be found in their marriage systems where young girls were indiscriminately given out in marriage without their consent. I however, didnt witness any of these sorts of forced marriage but learnt that many potential suitors usually travelled from far and wide to ask for a young Bali girls hand in marriage even when the latter was not ready or rarely knew such suitor. Due to the fact that the bride price in Bali was so little, some of these suitors both within Bali and outside exploit this custom and local law to seek for the hands of these girls in marriage. Also, because many of these parents were poor economically, the bride price and all sorts of other gifts provided by the suitors become a viable means to help keep body and soul together. The more the girls were married off, the better the continued survival of the parent. Under such tradition, these young girls had no choice but to accept, most times under intense pressure.
In the area of social life, it was said that lots of marriages collapsed even before they attain maturity. Divorce in Bali was said to be even more rampant than what one could imagine. I had witnessed and even attended quite a handful of marriages in Bali yet amazed when I was told many of those marriages rarely lasted. Why, my source didnt say, but one may not be far from linking it to the skewed marriage system mentioned above.
Throughout my stay in Bali, I saw and attended quite a few marriages and though did not witness cases of collapsed marriages as my source had made it sound, but noticed there were quite a number of homes in Bali occupied by single parents or divorced men and women.
Under normal circumstances, a divorced marriage impacts negatively on the children except such situation is handled properly. While some of these children become deviants ultimately, others move on well and excel. The difference between both is that one was not able to come out of the shock of a parents divorce, especially one that was messy, while the other developed at some point a thick skin. However, the ability to manage these children well enough so they dont become affected psychologically from the trauma of parental separation is fundamental to creating a positive balance and preparing them during their formative years for the huge task ahead. I found this simple societal/home training missing in Bali, especially among separated parents. Even children whose parents were not separated are yet to show proper upbringing not to talk of those under divorced parentage. The inability to bring up a child properly in Bali, whether under a divorced parent or not, is one of the reasons for the deviant behaviours I discovered among the children and youths in the community. Aside this, I noticed also a number of societal and family dislocations ranging from teenage pregnancy, teenage and single parenting, alcoholism, drug abuse, addiction, parental neglect to mention a few.
I must however, admit that the above is not an isolated case and could be found elsewhere, yet I have wondered how a community as small as Bali, one that was not too open to outside influences, have many of these dislocations. Only the Bali people, perhaps, may have answers to this pertinent .
Raheem Lepen
