If you're the one who did the breaking, it's up to you to do the fixing.
Whenever a breakup occurs, wondering how to win her back is a perfectly normal process for the average guy. Some men may begin to wonder this even before the door slams shut as she says she's had enough and exits in anger. Other men may wonder how to win her back after they break up with a girl (and then realize — Mike Dexter from the movie Can't Hardly Wait — that they've made a mistake).
Learning how to win her back when you're the one who was dumped is hard. But learning this when you're the one who did the dumping can sometimes be harder. You ended things and hurt her deeply. If you want any shot at a second chance, you'll have to make it up to her.
Remember that her security is most important.
As you try to learn how to win her back after you're the one who broke her heart, the most important thing you need to be cognizant of is her sense of security. You ruined it and now you must restore it. How you go about this will depend, in large part, on your girl. Still, there are a few things you can do to help convince her that you're not going to up and leave again.
One of these things involves telling her why you left in the first place. Be open and honest. Whatever you tell her is probably a lot less worse than what she's imagining. Another thing you can do is compliment her, but be sure to be sincere about it. Empty compliments will warrant empty results.
You should also be affectionate and no, that doesn't mean having sex. Instead, hold her hand, kiss her cheeks, even offer to rub her feet when she comes home after a hard day of work. Finally, talk about the future with her, as long as you really mean it. Talking about the future with someone is a good way to convince them that you're in for the long haul, instead of simply until something better comes along.
Stop bad habits.
Get rid of any habits you have that may lead to her feeling as though you'll stray or cheat. Don't talk about the women at your work (unless, of course, you're complaining about them). Don't ogle girls at gym. Don't flirt with the waitress at Chilis. This should be easy to do if you really want to be with this girl. When she asks you how your day was, tell her in an answer that is more than one or two words. When you ask about her, listen to what she says, really listen.
Change for her.
Every relationship — even those two happilymarried people — involves couples who have things they'd change about their partners. A husband might like it if his wife didn't spend so much money. A wife may like it if her husband didn't hold all of his feelings inside. Whatever flaw you had — you know, the ones that your girl would love if you changed — fix them.
If she hated that you smoked, quit. If she thought you worked way too much, start coming home early. If she always asked you to try new things with her and you refused, go and sign the two of you up for a cooking class. If there are things she has asked you to do that you never did — fix the leaky faucet, go in for a dental cleaning, get rid of that tattered chair you've had since the Carter administration — do them. You don't need to do everything shes ever asked. That's a honeydew list that might be too long to complete. But doing some of the stuff she's asked shows her that you're willing to work hard to remedy your past wrongs.
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